The other day I was on Instagram and I saw a post from one of my favorite independent media outlets. It was MuscleDiscord talking about the fact that Ms. Women’s Physique Olympia Natalia Coelho was doing some muscle worship work. It seemed like she was flexing for a schmoe and the guy was on cloud 9. Matt, the host, seemingly took exception because from what I gather, he didn’t think it was fitting for the #1 WPD athlete in the world to be doing that kind of work. And while I understand his sentiment to a degree, I wanted to write this article to provide a different take on muscle worship in the fitness industry. It’s not that I like to disagree with Matt, but it happens. We can’t always feel the same way. That being said, I think his commentaries and content are top notch. And let me tell you, he’s on the ball every single day. Whether you agree with him all the time or never, I think you should give Muscle Discord a follow. That said, let’s talk about muscle worship and schmoes – a topic that some get excited about because it feels so taboo and possibly even dirty. Sorry to crash the party, though, it’s usually neither of the two. In fact, there are many schmoes that are so much like everyone else that you’d never pick up on their obsession with muscle. Maybe by the end of this article, you might have a come to Jesus moment and admit to yourself – that you’re a schmoe too!! But no, not everyone is one. I’m not going to say that, either.
Schmoes can be men or women, but to be real, they’re mostly men. They can be muscular, but they’re usually not. Most schmoes, or the stereotypical schmoe, is a skinny white guy, with sweaty and/or clammy hands, who usually is obsessed with muscular women. There is a gay subculture in bodybuilding, but that has nothing to do with schmoes. Gay guys are a huge part of bodybuilding and always have been. They’ve ranged from supplement company owners, federation bigwigs, media people and rich folks who want a jacked bodybuilder wearing nothing but a loincloth to do “light housecleaning.” LOL. Others like to “discover” up and comers and fly them out and “help them” get started. We could do a book on that, but we won’t, because today’s topic is schmoes. Are there black schmoes? Latino schmoes? Asian schmoes? OH ABSOLUTELY! And I can name a few names in each aforementioned grouping, but the vast majority fall into the stereotype I shared at the beginning of this paragraph.
Most schmoes are happy to wait in line for a few hours to get an autograph at a big expo. Once they get to the muscular woman of their dreams, they’ll bust out with a few compliments in their quiet, shaky voice. They extend a photo, magazine, or other item.. Their hands shaking ever so obviously. In their other shaky hand, they have a pen. The only good thing that came of the pandemic is that now muscular women can do a fist bump instead of shaking hands with these diehard fans.
It’s not that they don’t love their fans, but you try shaking a moist, clammy hand with a person who maybe doesn’t want to let go. You could pour a bottle of hand sanitizer on your hand afterwards, but you’ll probably not want to eat fingerfood for a year. It’s not a pleasant feeling. Plus some schmoes are also lowkey nose pickers. Sorry, not sorry. Listen, I’ve been covering bodybuilding for 20+ years. I see things. Some things I can’t forget – believe me, I’ve tried. LOL
Other schmoes of more financial means won’t go to the expos, mainly, because they don’t want to be seen waiting in line. They may prefer to keep their fanaticism, otherwise known as a fetish, to themselves. These guys will usually opt for cam models and other digital ways to interact with their favorite stars. At $3.99 a minute (or whatever the going rate is) can get pricey after a while, but this is money most people would use to go watch football games and/or buy a sportscar. They rather use it to watch their favorite stars from their desktop or mobile phone device. Let’s hope they wash their hands afterwards. LOL. But that, too, is another factor. Not all schmoes get aroused by muscle worship. That said, most do. Sorry, not sorry, but let’s be authentic here. I’m not judging. Whatever floats your boat is fine by me.
Then you have the really loaded schmoes. These guys will pay for in-person, usually private shows or other experiences. And here’s where I might offend some people. Oh my goodness, I hope I don’t ruffle anyone’s feathers. You know how soft-spoken and politically-correct I am. LOL.
Some schmoes don’t necessarily fit the stereotypical schmoe look, rather, they might have soccer dad bodies or they might just be plain out of shape. That said, they want to “improve their quality of life,” so they hire a gorgeous, muscular woman as a personal trainer. The chubby personal trainer at the gym could work just fine, but instead of paying that dude $50-$100hr, they’ll fly out to or fly the muscular woman to them, pay all the expenses therein, and pay her $300-$1,000hr to “personally train them.” And it is personal training, but in the guy’s mind, it’s a schmoe experience. They still eat like crap, they of course don’t train on their own, but they keep booking more personal training sessions. That’s kind of a closeted schmoe. They need to do that whole song and dance so they can then share their obsession with the world, but still feel normal. Other loaded schmoes bypass the whole personal training and life empowerment front and they just want to look at, touch, and/or do some other things with the muscular women.
What muscular women do and what schmoes ask for varies. It’s a wide gamut. And even though I said I don’t judge, all the options are generally weird. They range from weird to VERY WEIRD and BEYOND.
That said, muscle worship isn’t free and bodybuilding is VERY expensive. This part of the bodybuilding world predates the internet, it predates print media, it might predate television. Muscular people stand out and are very attractive in a number of ways. Even folks who are inspired by them and want to emulate them through clean eating, sound training, and natural supplementation, could be argued to be schmoes on some level – but that’s a tremendous stretch.
Schmoes, for the most part, are very happy in their own skin. Most don’t hide it – others do. The bottom line is, schmoes have been putting lots of money in many physique-based athletes’ pockets for years. They’re as much a part of bodybuilding as are steroids and tank tops.
What’s your take on schmoes? What’s your take on top bodybuilders doing muscle worship work to supplement their income? As always, I hope you enjoyed reading my article, here, at IronMag. I look forward to reading your feedback in the comments. Be sure to copy and paste a link to this article on all your social media feeds. It’s guaranteed to generate LIVELY conversation!!
Author Bio:
Christian I. Duque is the owner StrengthAddicts.com, a physique and strength website founded in 2008. He has worked for a number of bodybuilding websites, including RX Muscle and Muscular Development. Christian has written nearly 1,000 published articles for Iron Magazine, as well as articles for StrengthAddicts, RX Muscle, and others. By day, he is also a licensed attorney practicing in the areas of family law, immigration, and criminal defense.
